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20.10.13

THE GODS OF CHEAP BIROS

Pen karma got me the other day.
 
I have this habit of stabbing Biros into my hair at work. I think it's a waitress thing, stemming from the need to have some sort of writing implement always close to hand. Rather than scrabbling around like an unprofessional eejit, muttering "Just let me find that pen..." under your breath while a customer is rattling off at speed what feels like a hundred modifications to every meal order for a group of twelve, you can just pluck one from the bird's nest on your head.
 
Usually I'm quite well behaved, de-penning my hair at the end of the day (because functioning pens are rare creatures indeed), but on my way home the other week I found one still lurking there, like a stowaway making a break for freedom. I threw it in my bag, making a mental note to return it next day, thinking if I didn't then it'd burst at some point just to piss me off and punish me for stealing an oh-so-precious cheap Biro.
 
Turns out mental notes aren't that reliable. I never did return it. Turns out I was also right, because there is was: that inky, tacky mass all over the inside of my bag that can only signify a pen explosion.
 
Damn you, pen karma, damn you. But then, I suppose it is all my own fault, really, for tempting the wrath of the Gods of Cheap Biros. Lesson learned*.
 
 
* And that explains why there are now two more pens hiding out in my bag waiting to be returned to work... Eh, no one's perfect.

3 comments:

  1. I feel like a terrible person--I've been stealing pens from work for years..... probably since I started working in general.
    People in the construction business keep the nicest collections of pens in their supply closets. I must have made off with $100 in Pilot Razor Points (in 5 different colours!) while I was working for those contractors.
    Perhaps this karma is why I have a permanent black ink stain on the inside of my left middle finger. And all this time I thought it was because I'm a citog! ;)

    xoxo

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  2. I do this too... except mine is an endless cycle. I keep pens in the pocket of my coat, my coat that I must wear when working. This means that the pens come home with me and travel back to work every time I work. I really hope that pen karma doesn't get me because the coat is white :-/

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    1. Ha, I was about to ask if that coat was white while reading your comment. Maybe pen karma won't get you?I mean, you are taking them back, right? And if you think about it, they aren't really leaving the workplace as such, if you consider that the coat in itself is 'the workplace'... That might be stretching things a bit, but hopefully not!

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